Jumper

I have decided that I will start to review movies on my bloggity blog. I see enough, so really, I’m doing people a favor, telling them what to watch, what to avoid, etc. So, to start off, I will review Jumper. I caught this movie last night because the movie I wanted to see, Step Up 2 Tha Streets, was sold out. Dejected, we chose this one, thinking that the trailer had led us to believe this movie would be fun.
Boy, we were wrong. I didn’t expect this movie to be awesome or Oscar-worthy or anything, I was just hoping it would be a good crappy movie. You know those movies, the ones that are awful, be it dialogue or the plot, but you can’t help but love it. In my case, my favorite of these movies would be The Covenant. Haven’t seen it yet? Quickly head out to your local video store and snatch it up. Jumper, however, is not one of those movies. The plot jumps around (ha ha jumps…get it?) and there is so much stuff that isn’t explained that you’re like, huh? And boy, Hayden Christiansen, while being some good eye candy, is not what I would call a “good actor”. Originally, having only seen him in the Star Wars movies, I thought, well, of course he isn’t a good actor in this; he has these awful scripts to work from. But now, having seen him in this, I realize, that boy can’t act. Who keeps putting him in movies? This I don’t know, but good for him. Maybe it’s his smile that keeps him in movies, because I won’t lie, I do dig his smile. But that isn’t enough to save this movie.
Anyway, the movie is about a guy, David, who has an ability to teleport anywhere. He uses his powers to rob banks and get rich, then live as he likes. He doesn't work, he just travels the world, playing atop pyramids, surfing in the ocean, etc. To me, this life would be boring. And then, Samuel Jackson shows up and wants to kill David for bieng an abomination against God. Ooh, scary. The rest of the movie (well, the latter hour) is devoted to them playing a cat and mouse game, while David meets up with a fellow Jumper (Griffin) that he butts heads with. And of course, along the way, he finds his old crush from high school-Rachel Bilson, who, in this, is Blandy McBlanderstein. The whole time I couldn't help but wonder why, after an 8 year absence, he has gone back for her. Of course, evil guy uses Blandy as a plot point to lure David back, but not until he's had an awesome CGI fight with his frenemy, Griffin. The fight goes on for a while and doesn't really serve purpose other to show what awesome effects the movie has. The fight is pretty stupid, and ends stupidly also. I didn't really like the end, which brought up more questions than I cared to ask, and practically screams "Sequel!" at you.
Most of this movie doesn’t really make sense, but I guess that’s not what you go into this movie for. You go in to ooh and aah over his powers and the great life he has, and a bunch of plot points that you don’t really care about are also thrown in your face. So all in all, I do not recommend this movie. Save the 8 bucks it would cost you to see this, and spend 3 of them on renting The Covenant.