I can ride a bike with no handlebars...

Well, almost. Even though I'm a runner, and nothing beats the great feelings I get when I run, sometimes, I like to switch it up. Today, I wasn't in the mood to run and I thought, you know, a good long bike ride would be a good way to exercise without killing myself. I say killing myself, because the last few runs I've had, I accidentally have been doing some crazy ones. I think I'm turning down a road I've been down before, only to find out after a mile or so that I have no idea where I am, and the way out is still a couple of miles away. But I don't turn around, as we all know. So instead of a super long run, I wanted to keep it simple today.
I loaned by bike to Rory recently, (ok, a while ago) and I had to get it back. When we got to her house, she led us to where she had it, and as she started to pull it out, all I could do was gape in shock. She had dismantled it! The two tires were off, as was the seat. As I stared in disbelief, she noticed my expression, and told me that the only way she could transport it was to take it apart, but assured me it was very easily put back together. Not believing her, but having no other choice, I stuck all the pieces in my car, and hoped for the best.
After I unloaded it all, I took a look at it all, and thought maybe I could do it. Enlisting my dad (of course, I'm so dumb when it comes to this sort of stuff) we tackled it, head on. Well, it was not as easy as I was told. We got the seat on, of course, that was easy. We got the front tire on, but couldn't get the brakes hooked up. After a few minutes of trying that, we moved onto the back tire. We found out pretty quickly that we were missing a nut or a bolt or something, I don't know the difference. We tried to get everything all set up back there, the chain, the tire, everything, but no dice. We sorta got the tire on, and kinda got the chain on, but we still didn't have that piece. And of course, we couldn't get the brakes back there hooked up either. After fiddling with the thing for a while, we came to the conclusion that I wouldn't be riding tonight. With a heavy heart, I shoved the bike into our bike shed, and went inside. I am sad I can't ride, and I'm hoping I can get somone to help me stick that thing back together. I had to run tonight, after all, but I ran inside, on the treadmill, so at least I can control the distance and time. And I felt so retarded after the whole thing. I can just imagine all (4 of you) that read this, laughing at my inability to put together that bike. Even though its a "quick release" (Rory spouted off that phrase when telling why she dismantled it) bike, I have absolutely no idea how to put it together. I'm either going to figure out who to bribe to put it together, or buy a new one, and sell the old one for scraps. Any takers?