Running just as fast as you can....

This past weekend, I went to the movie theater (shocker!) and saw the movie Cloverfield.
As I sat in the dark watching the train wreck of Cloverfield (seriously, I do not recommend this movie) I realized that if there were ever an attack on the great city I live in, I would do things differently than these people did, and actually, this made me think of all of these types of movies. Be it a ridiculous looking beast attacking (Cloverfield), a serial killer attacking people (Seven, Silence of the Lambs), an alien attack (War of the Worlds) or a creepy killing tape (The Ring), I realized that I am in no way like people in the movies.
There is no way I’d be fighting this force to survive. I don’t know exactly what it is that takes away my survival instinct, but I would just be like, I’m out, kill me now. Hopefully, they would kill me quickly and be done with it. While it’s all well and good to fight and whatnot, I just think that (at least in the case of a serial killer) for the rest of your life, you’d be having nightmares, and always have anxiety that something would happen again. You’d never feel safe! And what’s to say that they didn’t already take a limb or something? You’d be stuck in pain or having to deal with that, and isn’t that sometimes worse than living? (wow, I hope people who are missing limbs don’t read this. I’m not saying having a missing limb is worse than death, I’m just trying to make a point) Also, after such a movie of destruction, won’t it be awful to have to rebuild? Say you survive and the city you live in was destroyed. You’d have to find a new job, a new house, you’d probably have to move and the rebuilding of the country would be so much work! Just think about it.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, and this is, “Well, surely, if ever presented with this opportunity, Vieve would fight like the scrappy gal she is” No, you’re wrong. I’d accept my fate gracefully. But in case you’d like to fight your way out (PJ has informed me that in such a situation, she’d fight like nobodies business, and you may be like her) I’ll give you some helpful tips I’ve learned from these movies.
First of all, be the hot friend in your group. No matter what is going down, the hot one will live. Ways to achieve this: stop eating (no one likes a fatty), spend a ridiculous amount of money on hair, clothes, and makeup. No matter what you really do look like, these things will help hide any flaws you have. Also, if possible for you, get plastic surgery to hide anything you can’t hide with makeup. Trust me, you’ll survive anything. Second of all, if you’re wearing high heels as foot wear, take them off. I don’t care that the girl in Cloverfield wore them while running down the street (which I found ridic. Nobody can run away in high heels. Don’t believe me? Try it.) You will not be ok with it. It’s better to be running around barefoot then in those things. Or, if possible, cut off the heels. Maybe you can get around like that. Third, have a significant other who is not right by your side. You’ll at least live until they can find you, and once people find you, it’s pretty probable that you’ll survive still. Doctors can work miracles. And lastly, don’t be driving in the middle of nowhere. I don’t care if you think it’ll be a shortcut. There’s a 70 percent chance you’ll get attacked by mutated country folk. And your cell phone won’t work out there, of course, so no one will be able to help you. In cases such as this, take the gun you have in your glove department (don’t play like you don’t have one in there) and go out in a blaze of glory. Kill as many of those suckers as you can before they get to you.
I hope my tips help you survive if anything bad should happen to us. Always remember, if in case of any such catastrophe, make your way to a mall or grocery store, to wait it out. This way, you’ll have food and entertainment, and you’ll make loads of new friends!