Now I'm sore

I like myself some high impact exercise. Give me running, Tae Bo, P90x, all of these things are great, I feel really great after I've done these. I'm sweating when I'm done (well, as much as I can sweat) so I know I've worked hard. I don't like low-impact things. I've done pilates, and while I do like that, I always feel like I've barely done anything at the end of the hour. And yoga? Forget about it! All the breathing, and the "lets all work out our chakras" blah blah blah no. But sometimes, you do what you don't like...
In P90X, there is, of course, a load of exercises possible, and they tell you which ones to do on which days. There's the usual things, arms, legs, back, etc, but then they also throw in crazy plyometrics, or kenpo karate. It's actually a lot of fun, and it's always mixed up. Today was my day for yoga, and I won't lie, I usually skip the yoga days, because I figure it's not high impact, so my body won't notice if I don't do it. But today, I had some extra time, so I figured I might as well do it.
I get all in my comfy clothes, pop in the DVD, and go at it. It's an hour and a half long (sheesh!) so I buckled in. There were some things I didn't like about it-the soothing voice of the instructor made me angry, and I don't even know why. I don't like how relaxed they want you to be. They keep reminded me to relax, after like, four times, I'm like, I get it! I'm relaxed! I'm not yelling!
I did like it overall though. It's so hard! Holding those poses is crazy-I can't believe the flexibility of these people. About halfway through, I was covered in sweat, cursing Tony (the instructor) for making me do this, but I lasted the whole time! I was feeling good at the end, and immediately following it, I just felt sore, like every muscle I have was tired.
I don't know that I would like to do yoga all the time, but I think I'll like throwing it in every once in a while. And who knows, if I keep doing this, maybe I'll be one of those freaks who can twist into every position imaginable. Wouldn't that just be great?!

Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. But nobody is that happy.

Now, I wouldn't say that I'm an exercise junkie. I do exercise, and I enjoy it, sometimes. I do some pilates, a little Tae Bo, and once in a while, I do some yoga. I gotta tell you though, I have a problem with the people in these videos. There is not a single person in the entire world that is that happy while they're exercising. These people are working their way through what is a pretty intense routine sometimes, and they're smiling at me like they haven't a care in the world. And their outfits, come on! They're in these tight little numbers that look like they're so uncomfortable to be in, and we're supposed to believe they're moving around in them and having a good time? And their hair is never messed up, it looks all nice, and everything is in place, and they have makeup on that isn't smudged by sweat. Now, its not like when I work out, I'm drenched in sweat, hair all askew, but nobody looks like a freaking supermodel while they work out. Like its not enough I have to be working out to lose weight or whatever, now I gotta compete with these girls?
Another beef I have with these things is the locations. Why are these people randomly in the mountains or on the beach working out? Is it supposed to be serene? Am I supposed to be calm while trying to get my heart rate up? They're sending me mixed messages! And being on the beach? Come on, aren't you getting sand everywhere? I walk on the beach for a minute and a half, I'm washing sand out for like a week, I can't even imagine how bad the sand for that chick has got to be.
Now, I know nothing will change for these videos, they will forever be ridiculous. To prove my point with that, I think you should go out and rent yourself a video (thats right, VHS) of an exercise tape from the eighties. I suggest getting a "Buns of Steel" one. The outfits are laughable, the things they're teaching you have, for the most part, now been shown to be totally wrong, so thats pretty funny. So enjoy these gems, and hey, work out a bit while looking at them, because clearly, you can tell, by looking at me that they work. Because, not to brag, but uh, I myself have a body of steel, so...